The Paradox of Pain

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The Paradox of Pain

Everyone wants to be happy.
Everyone is jealous of a man who is happier than them.
So everyone pretends they are happy and tries to make others jealous of their happiness.
After all, isn’t Happiness everything in Life??


Some people (this affliction is probably limited to a certain age group) don’t wish to appear happy. Not always. There is no charm in being happy. The charm lies in misery, its concealment and the portrayal of suppressed grief. No, I am most definitely not making this up. The deeper the suffering (or its appearance), the better. There should be enough to make others envious of your pain, to make others admire you for it. If there is no great tragedy, you act as if there is. If someone else has a deeper cause for unhappiness, you either downplay it or pray to God to give you that one. But the agony should not spill over in a flood of tears, it should be contained. It should sooo break others’ heart for you.

There is no denying the touch of Romance associated with Sorrow. Our heart goes out to the silently grieving hero rather than the teary-eyed heroine. However, in films, there is the omnipresent friend of the hero who knows everything, who divulges to (us and) others about his countless sacrifices. Of course the hero cannot list them himself. His job is to look melancholy when the narration is in progress. In real life, unfortunately, there is no such friend. So, if someone has to appreciate our hardships, we need to tell them about it. And blog about it. And stress how much we ‘suffer in silence’.

Real life is a dampener that takes the romance away from sorrow. One cannot talk about his problems without having to hear that the listener is suffering even more.

– “I’m having a very tough time.”
– “You have no idea what I am going through.”

– “I have a hundred issues you know nothing about.”
– “I’m sure they’re nothing compared to mine!”

– “Nobody knows I am grieving inside. My heart is breaking even as I smile.”
– “I keep my pain from my family and dear friends. The brave face I put up conceals the tragic life I lead.”

We yearn for pain so that we can be a martyr before others. In that sense, it is the pain that gives us joy. That happiness is everything in life.
I call it the Paradox of Pain.

By |2018-12-10T11:20:15+00:00March 29th, 2011|As I see it, Pixel|2 Comments

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  1. Doc April 4, 2011 at 2:39 pm - Reply

    But then there surely is love in real life right..?

    – "I'm having a very tough time."
    – "What happened? Is anything troubling you?"

    – "I have a hundred issues you know nothing about."
    – "More than welcome to share them, and maybe I could help you out"

    – "Nobody knows I am grieving inside. My heart is breaking even as I smile."
    – "Time heals. Hurdles never stand the test of time, there is nothing that can't be solved. A friend, a blog, a stranger, a hobby"

    I feel it's human nature to interlock romance with sorrow. But I have just begun my jounrey. Maybe one day I will comment on this post again when I meet the REAL WORLD 🙂

  2. Jean April 5, 2011 at 7:36 am - Reply

    Doc: I'm sure you'll be reminded of this in the days to come. 🙂 Sooner, rather than later.

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