And in that Mother, a power is also born – an immense power that helps her protect her children against all evil that could arise: evil from outside, evil from within.
She cannot give up, no matter what – she has to keep fighting for what she thinks is best for her children, even when the children themselves become the beings she has to fight against. If their lives are in danger, she fights with her tooth and nail, until her last breath. If she loses a battle today, she knows she will win another one tomorrow. She knows she will keep fighting. For their sake. For her sake.
She is never terrified of losing – she knows that if she as much as thinks about giving up, her children won’t stand a chance.
As they grow, as their perception of her changes, even as they accuse her of interfering in their matters, she knows that one day when they become parents, her motives and actions will become crystal clear to them.
There is only one thing, next to losing a child, that she views with horror – the one thing that haunts her night and day, the one thing she has no control over, throughout her life as a Mother. There is only one Monster that can ever bring her to her knees. She would fight it nonetheless, but she knows that it will overcome her in the end. The one terror that she carries, the one thing she knows she cannot fight forever, is her own Death. She would secretly beg it to give her some more time, so that she can protect her children till they are old enough to protect themselves.
And when she realises that she does not have that time, that she may have to give in too soon, that she may have to leave her children to fend for themselves because she has been summoned, there is no defeat as complete. She knows they will survive, she knows her courage will continue to inspire them, she knows her lessons will be remembered years after she has gone, yet the thought would gnaw into her consciousness: I will not be there for them.
My friend lost her two-year battle with cancer last week, leaving her two young children behind. I would never know what thoughts passed through her mind in those last days. I do not think she was afraid of Death as much as she would have been of leaving them – too young to even understand what her loss would mean to them.
R.I.P, my friend.
You are not defeated, you have passed on your amazing courage to your children.