Yeah, they know all about how to put the baby to sleep, when is the best time to make a toddler do his potty, how to calmly and gently tell the child to do as he is told, and,…- in fact they have a whole set of answers to all the problems parents could possibly face.
There is a certain knowing chuckle (or a wise smile) associated closely with these advices. You’ll learn to recognise it if you are a parent. The moment they become parents, though, unfortunately, they seem to forget the advices they used to offer free of charge – perhaps because reality has come up from behind and knocked their heads out with a non-stick frying pan.
I might have been one of them too, I am sure. I must have forgotten. Thankfully.
Some of the advices go like this. (Parents, please take elaborate notes.)
“Oh, just put the baby to sleep by singing to him. That’s very soothing to him.”
The Poor Hapless Parent (PHP) has been singing herself hoarse for 40 minutes and the child is still wide-eyed (wider than before the songs started, for obvious reasons) and lively and energetic, cooing and giggling, with no sleep sighted anywhere in twenty neighbouring countries, and the PHP has begun to hate the fact that the Homo Sapiens have been foolish enough to discover such things as songs.
And then yeah, potty. Let’s not forget the potty. So the parent thinks getting the child to do potty every evening is tough job.”Evening?” comes the excellent advice, with that chuckle of wisdom I told you about. And perhaps an impatient tap on the forehead too. “Put him on the potty in the morning! That’s very important for him, it will clear his little tummy and helps him eat better throughout the day.”
Tears start coming out from the PHP’s eyes. Not out of love or gratitude, of course, but from the irresistible urge to bang her own head against the nearest wall. She alone knows the morning chaos in the house to get the sleepy child to rise and squeeze into his school uniform and gobble something remotely resembling breakfast and run down the stairs to the bus that has been honking for the last thirty minutes. Potty, yeah, sure.
And when the child refuses to listen to us for whatever reason, this chuckling gang of people have a solution to that too. “Be gentle,” they say. “Don’t shout or yell at him, just explain it slowly to him and he will understand.”
Why didn’t I even think of that before? asks the PHP. I have been always screaming at him, from the time he was born. The day they first delivered him to my arms, I screamed at him, just to make sure he knew who was the boss around here. From there, there was no looking back. I should have been calm and loving, God, I never knew it. You should help me spell Love, okay? I hadn’t even heard of it until today. Thank the mighty Almighty for bringing you to me.
There are many more such gems of advices up their sleeves, if you need any tips, go to them!
I think you got the hint.