Dear Spam Commenters,
You have no idea how grateful I am to you.
Forget the fact that your comments have no relation whatsoever to the post that you are commenting on, or that your words make no real sense at all (very clearly the generic stuff that you copy-paste everywhere), or that the fake excitement in your tone makes me want to cry; what is important is that you find my blog worthy enough to warrant a visit. You see, it is a very obvious and accepted fact that the more spam a blog gets, the higher it is in popularity.

If you think you are just getting paid for posting random nonsense at some rubbish website, you can’t be more mistaken. We bloggers eagerly await your arrival (and smile in secret pride when we spot you at the corner of our street). Our “rejecting” or “deleting” your comments, and our public display of disdain are mere show, I assure you. Secretly, our hearts bounce when we notice that a new spam commenter has found us and wasted his/her time to post valuable junk on our precious websites.
My heart fills with the thrill and unbounded joy and pride (even though I scowl for the benefit of viewers and readers) when I hit that reject button and mutter some meaningless oath just for the sake of appearances. Oh, I cannot explain how important that makes me feel, when I realise that I have been promoted to the elite club of popular blogs.
I hope you keep visiting my blog, Anonymous commenter (I die to know your many names), and posting all the rubbish that you can dream of. I eager await the lots and lots of “rejects” I can hit.
A grateful blogger.