1. He doesn’t listen anyway.
2. If you want his attention, insert this line in your conversation, “then you can go and watch TV”.
3. He will get his way in the end.
4. Junk food is sometimes nutritious. (He will bring the packet and point out the ‘nutritional facts’ if you dare to say otherwise.)
5. You can’t win an argument with him. (In their pre-birth school, they specialised in Law.)
6. All rules are meant only to be broken. Pathetic are those who try to follow them. Pitiful are those that try to enforce them.
7. School days are good, because he doesn’t have to endure his mother’s many commands during the day.
8. One should do homework only when one has nothing better to do.
9. Whoever invented rice had some grudge against humanity. Probably some sadistic idea by God. Well, no one is sure if God exists, either, so… It all stinks of a conspiracy.
10. There are no such things as sleep time, meal time, study time,… All time is either play time or TV time.
11. He could give Albert Einstein a run for his money. (He doesn’t think old Albert was all that brilliant anyway.)
12. Reading isn’t everything.
13. Parents are supposed to know everything, but these days he has his doubts on that theory.
14. His friend’s Mom makes excellent and tasty meals (even rice).
15. He is never (and can never be) tired. Admitting you’re tired is a sign of weakness.
16. If you yell at him, all he gathers is the fact that you yelled.

(With apologies to my son, who will soon discover this blog…)